Menopause - your views

I would very much like to hear from any women who are enduring the menopause, at any stage, who think that we need to start seeing this transition in a woman’s life through different lenses.

The black and white way in which this major transition is often represented can be very unhelpful. It can be very hard for women to wade their way through all the confusing myths that abound and this, in itself, can add enormously to our suffering during these years. For example, if women worry about there being something wrong with them if they are not through the menopause a year after stopping their periods, which is what conventional wisdom often tells us is the most usual experience, that will likely just make them feel worse, emotionally. If we are expected to be feeling pretty much back to normal, which most women aren’t, that expectation can also easily make us feel failures and exacerbate negative feelings of all sorts.

Personally, as a woman now in my 70th year, who had an appalling decade plus from my late 40s to 60, but who is not ‘over it’ now, I don’t think there is enough realistic/helpful enough emotional support available for women as they navigate peri-menopause, menopause and post menopause and I want to start working on trying to create more.

I wonder whether we could start to describe these stages in different, more realistic ways. If we start to counteract conventional ways of talking about what happens to us as women as we age in more supportive, truthful ways, in the media, in books etc, between ourselves, that might well be empowering and help us cope more easily. The vast array of physical effects will remain but the negative emotional impact will likely be lessened. If there were more opportunities for women to reframe, for example, what we mean by libido, I think there are ways to help us feel better about ourselves and our future.

At the moment, a conspiracy of silence seems to prevail beyond a certain point. Menopause, in all its dubious glory, is talked about more, in the media, for example, which is great. However, there is not as much honesty about what really happens to many of us and how many of us feel and I would like to contribute to changing that.

Others need education, too, as many of you will attest to.

If you can relate to what I say above and want to help me decide how to move forward, please do email me at drcngalgut@yahoo.com. We can then either email or speak on the phone or speak via video call. I will then, with your permission, use your input, anonymously, to help me decide how best to move forward.

Thank you for reading this.
Cordelia

Dr C N Galgut